While we generally within a few feet of each other most of the time we are not in each other’s faces. Both of us have our own interests and while that is not watching TV we stay busy working on projects, talking to our friends, or working on our hobbies. I noticed something funny the other day as I was watching Bob walk our German Shephard “Texas” as he walks her and plays with her totally different than I do. She recognizes we are two different people and acts totally different when she is with only one of us.
There are many times during our work day that we do work together and over the years this has become a finally honed process. When we first started securing freight together we both had our own ideas and they did not match. After much frustration I learned that Bob is very good at this and I needed to follow his lead and help where he needed me. Boy did that help a lot with irritation with each other. On the other hand, I take care of the inside of the truck and he has learned over time to leave stuff where I put it. Do NOT and I mean DO NOT rearrange my cupboards to suit you. This got a little ugly before Bob realized I have everything in the cupboard in its proper place to fit the person that needs to be in the cupboards most often. Him being much taller than me does not need to come up with a new configuration unless he, Bob, plans on getting out everything I need. Once that was settled the sleeper became a much nicer place.
When it comes to the business side of trucking there is a lot more communication when we accept loads or have the truck worked on. Once I remember getting very upset over a load Bob accepted as it went to a place I really disliked and did not pay very well, luckily for him it canceled. After that situation we sat down and discussed the areas of the country that stressed us out and decided that before a load could be accepted in that area we had to discuss it with the other person no matter the pay. That decision really helped our business and our stress level.
What happens with we have a disagreement in our marriage? It is hard to be together all of the time and not disagree and it happens. Bob and I have been married over forty years and we still argue or there are times where Bob has to say “What in the world did I do to upset you?” Sometimes I just need a little bit of time to get back to normal or Bob needs some time outside of the truck to get over just having a bad day. That happens to everyone and while it is harder to get away from each other while out on the road it is possible. The big deal though is if we get a load during our tiff and that tiff has to move to the back burner as we both go to work doing what we need to do to pick up the load. After the load is finished it is very hard to remember or even care to remember what we were upset about.
What we always have to remember is that our home can move and the last thing we want to do is leave the other person stranded where we last stopped. Over the past eighteen years we have some strategies to let the other know immediately that we got out of the truck. You might wonder how this could happen but in reality, it is very easy. At night while our partner is asleep we stop at a rest area or truck stop to run in for a minute and after we have left the truck our partner decides they need to go in as well. When the first person gets back in the truck if there is not a sign of some sort we assume the other is still sound asleep in bed. Our sign is the curtain between the sleeper and the cab is left open as it is always closed when someone is sleeping. Must work as we have never left the other stranded. We have heard some really funny stories of this happening to other couples.
In reality it has become a way of life and no different than when we had normal jobs that got us home every night. Once we are home our projects take us further apart as Bob likes to work in his shop and I spend more time in the house.